Sometimes we have setbacks that seem to 'interrupt' our well thought out plans. What a gift when we realize they are unexpected gifts to us from God. His BEST plan often rudely crashes into our 'good' plan and sends us spinning. I'm learning to not be jolted into the 'I can fix this mode' but stop and experience the interruption fully. I'm learning what a gift those interruptions can be.
Those 'interruptions' are often God's BEST gifts to us because we didn't know we even needed them. At least that's what I'm learning. He always gives good gifts. Even if it wasn't His plan for us to have certain interruptions, which I know that happens too, He turns all things to our good. He turns the bad into good for us - so even the awful crashes that interrupt us, and are not from Him, He reigns supreme and can turn those around for our good too! That is a safe place to be - under the shadow of His tender loving care. No harm shall come nigh us, from the right or the left. But just like with Job, some things are allowed that ultimately hurt like hell. They hurt and hurt and hurt but.... if we give that hurt to Him, He can turn it into good.
He is only limited by what we willingly give over to Him. If we have a tight grip on the good or bad crash - He has no control. How many people can drive a car at one time? Only one person can sit in the drivers seat, and for good reason. My husband and I are proof of that! We both have our own 'idea' of which is the quickest way to go from A to B. Could you imagine? Me turning the wheel left as he pulls it right? Both of us convinced we are making the best choice. But ultimately we can only go one way and it requires one person surrendering their grasp of the wheel and agreeing to the driver's choice. It is the same with God. We must release control to Him first, before He can guide us on our way.
I recently read a facebook status of a friend that read "God is like a navigational device in your car. If it says go 10 blocks and turn left and you go 10 blocks and turn right He doesn't abandon what you need to do, He just recalculates what you need to do to get to where you are supposed to be based upon where you are." He finds another way to rescue us from our choice... but we must choose to turn at His next prompting. He won't force us to turn anymore than GPS will - it simply again 'recalculates' until we yield to the correct path. Until we release our plan - He cannot guide us, He continues to tell us the BEST way - but we ultimately choose to listen or not. His BEST for us requires our willing surrender to turn where He says. He is simply recaluclating until we willingly comply.
He's such a gentleman! The best part is that He knows our hearts and He knows why certain choices (regarding trusting Him) trigger fear to rise up. He knows the why behind our goofs. He knows the 'good-hearted' intention behind our acts. He sees THAT good intention far more than the harmful act. He knows we meant good and didn't realize the harm that would come in the end - He is a '2nd chance' lover! He aches to give us His best so much and yet we reject it because 'we had a plan'. So, He is left with the GIFT OF OUR LIVES in hand, aching to see us open it and He is left wanting - as He watches us say 'no' again and again and again.
He waits patiently, until we come to terms with the good gift and then.... He presents us with the beautiful best He had in mind all along, and I imagine Him BEAMING as He peers from the heavenlies telling all of heaven 'LOOK!! Look, she gets it! She wants my gift! She's letting me bless her, FINALLY! OH! The day I've longed for is here - she's letting me heal her heart! She's letting me turn this to her good! She said YES to me! She said YES to me! Oh! LOOK!" He delights in us, you know! He grieves with us, you know! He cherishes everything about us, you know! He waits breathless, as He longs for you to say 'Yes'.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
He Brings Restoration
What I must tell you is that when God brings restoration - it isn't as you may expect! HIS version of restoration eliminates the loss entirely. When HE brings restoration it is like you return to that place you would have been had you not ever had the 'blip'. But you do have the added treat of a lesson learned, in addtion to being restored. It is above and beyond ALL you could ask or think!!!
In the waiting - it feels like you are being stripped bare but HE so tenderly surprises you with a big 'TADAH', when you resign yourself to accepting where you are. He is FAR more concerned with your character than your wish list!! Once you comply with His plan of building your character - He pours out His GOOD gifts on you like you've never known! The sources of His gifts are literally from every direction and can come from people you don't even know and those who you do love and know! It is unending and overwhelming! God is truly amazing - He BRINGS restoration - as your SOUL prospers - so does He bring prosperity to you!
HIS gifts have NO sorrow attached! NONE! NADA! That's how you know which gifts are from Him! Not one drop of sorrow, although during the journey TO restoration you feel like you've lost everything you ever thought truly mattered!! What you learn is that what you once thought brought sorrow is really the road to joy and beauty! But you cannot SEE the truth in that until you get to the other side of the journey!
In the waiting - it feels like you are being stripped bare but HE so tenderly surprises you with a big 'TADAH', when you resign yourself to accepting where you are. He is FAR more concerned with your character than your wish list!! Once you comply with His plan of building your character - He pours out His GOOD gifts on you like you've never known! The sources of His gifts are literally from every direction and can come from people you don't even know and those who you do love and know! It is unending and overwhelming! God is truly amazing - He BRINGS restoration - as your SOUL prospers - so does He bring prosperity to you!
HIS gifts have NO sorrow attached! NONE! NADA! That's how you know which gifts are from Him! Not one drop of sorrow, although during the journey TO restoration you feel like you've lost everything you ever thought truly mattered!! What you learn is that what you once thought brought sorrow is really the road to joy and beauty! But you cannot SEE the truth in that until you get to the other side of the journey!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Know The Cause
Before I became a Mommy, I prayed to BE a Mommy! It took us four years of trying to become pregnant before finally having that dream. It was a weary journey - very emotional and very painful. After trying for one year, my Doctor diagnosed me, quite matter-of-factly too! "You have endometriosis and this will require surgery." Sure, I knew in my gut that he was probably right but there was a piece of me that was petrified! I was terrified that he may be wrong and after the surgery I would find out that it was some random fluke and they didn't know why we had trouble. I was frozen with the 'what if' kind of fear. So silly now, looking back. Why not just trust him with my diagnoses and get help? No harm in that. But the 'what if he's wrong' thought would not release me to step into the known. It took me three years, so ridiculous to me now, to have the nerve to have the surgery. Three years!
Once I had the surgery, we were good to go! I was COVERED in endometriosis. One of the worst cases he had ever seen. He was amazed at my pain tolerance. I had no idea I had a high threshold for pain - it was all I knew. Before long, I was an expecting mother. It was at that time I prayed for God to make me a good mother. I didn't want to be angry or hostile. I wanted to be whole and kind. I had a Mom who was hurt as a child, and because her generation did not 'talk' about those kind of things.... she stifled her pain her whole life. As she mothered, she oozed out her hurt. Not willingly I am sure. So having grown up in that kind of home... I did not want hidden pains to ooze out on my kids. Sadly, I know of a few incidents that indeed did happen but I have to give myself the grace to say 'Thank God it was only a few incidents and not their entire childhood."
I had a precious baby girl - we remind her that 'she' gave me my dream come true... she made me a Mommy! During my pregnancy and her first year of life, I began to release 'jobs' I had picked up along the way. I had given myself the assignments of helping those around me, who were hurting, and became their shoulder to lean on. This was over my life - I was the fixer. That line in Vanilla Ice's song "If you have a problem, YO, I'll solve it" was my mantra. If I saw pain or a problem - I found a solution and began to try to 'help' the one who needed me, and often I offered my 'help' to those who did not want it too! God slowly began healing me of my 'Yo, I'll solve it' disease and I began to change. As a result, those who leaned on me were quite startled that I no longer offered or needed to help them. I didn't mean to startle them - I was just being healed of taking responsibility for things that were none of my business. But, I digress.
After my daughter, we had my precious son. When he was born, my daughter was fighting an ear infection. She had gone through 3 different antibiotics and she was as sick on dose 3 as she was on dose 1. Meanwhile, my son was showing signs of colic and I was beyond tired. (We became pregnant with my son when my daughter was only 9 months old. I was exhausted my entire pregnancy.) I was falling apart. I was spent. I had nothing left to give and I felt like I needed help. I told my doctor of my fatigue and he said 'Welcome to Motherhood'. I thought, "What?!?! You are not going to help me?!" I began to pray, again. "God, I need HELP! What is wrong with us!? We cannot endure this?! HELP ME!" I began watching a local program, total fluke - ie. a God appointment, and the name of the show was "Know the Cause". I was intrigued. I began watching it and learned about Probiotics, before they were cool. :) I went to a local organic health store and bought the ones they suggested and the infant kind too. I took the bag of goodies home and began to weep thinking 'I am about to medicate my children with something I saw on TV and I am scared to death!'
It was then that my husband 'happened' to meet a PHD doctor, I think he specialized in nutrition/supplements. He and his expecting wife were picking up a to-go order from the restaurant and my husband 'happened' to chat with them. My husband told him of all my ailments and he began to explain to my husband why I craved certain foods and why I was so tired. He gave us a business card and S came home with my answer to my prayer. We made an appointment, saw him, he diagnosed me with depleted adrenalin. He confirmed my findings on probiotics, gave me the 2 thumbs up I needed, I went home and took the meds he prescribed me and gave my babies the probiotics and within 3 days we were all well. No more fatigue, no more ear infections and no more colic. I was then sold on KNOWING THE CAUSE!
Knowing the cause has been a big phrase for me. "Knowing the cause" - it is music to my ears! KNOWING the cause. Shortly after this, we moved. And if you've been reading my blog, you know that rocked my world. I now believe God gave me the phrase of my life, via our health, so that it was the ground work I could begin to stand on. KNOW the cause. You see, I didn't just change because I became a Mommy - I didn't stop trying to 'fix' the problems I saw..... HE changed me. I could not be a WHOLE Mommy to my kids if I was distracted with all those I took on as projects before. He needed to get to the root of my pain so that I could become whole and be the Mommy I'm called to be and THEN I can be the friend I need to be. A whole me can do much more good than a broken me.
Know the cause - I could not know why x,y or z made me angry if I never look at the root of why those moments trigger me. Why do I crave attention or advise from older women and yet I NEVER get what I need from them? Know the cause - it is because my story involves a Mom who was wounded and wasn't whole. She did the BEST she could do and I was forced to take up where she left off. She needed that from me, she didn't want that but she needed that. So now, I am whole knowing that I am not flawed because I did not know all the things my friends knew. I didn't have an adviser for a Mom. I had a wounded warrior! She did her best, and God knew I could take it. He knew I could be strong enough for her when she didn't have it in her. He knew my strength when I did not see it as strength. He knew!
He knows the cause - He knows how vital it is for us to know the cause! KNOW why we are uber sensitive in certain conversations. KNOW why we feel the need to help everyone, when we do not need to. KNOW why we weep when we see certain things happen, that shouldn't cause us to weep. Our pain matters. We all too often try to silence the fruit of silenced pain - the anger, the insecurities, the hostility, the rage, the fear, and on and on. We see these as all isolated incidents and He sees the why of it all. He longs for us to Know the cause of our bitterness. He longs for us to Know the cause of our fear. He longs for us to Know the cause because until we KNOW the cause.... we only treat the symptoms. Treating the symptom of fear will never cure the cause of fear. The symptom is a distraction that hides the root. The root, or the cause, must be faced fully so that the symptoms can be addressed. Once the root/cause is exposed, the symptoms begin to diminish and slowly go away. There is power in knowing the cause - which is why it matters so much to stop and evaluate what causes our triggers. What causes us to snap at something that is really not that big of a deal - it is a root of pain that when lightly brushed causes us to overreact and leaves us feeling exposed and stupid.
Once I had the surgery, we were good to go! I was COVERED in endometriosis. One of the worst cases he had ever seen. He was amazed at my pain tolerance. I had no idea I had a high threshold for pain - it was all I knew. Before long, I was an expecting mother. It was at that time I prayed for God to make me a good mother. I didn't want to be angry or hostile. I wanted to be whole and kind. I had a Mom who was hurt as a child, and because her generation did not 'talk' about those kind of things.... she stifled her pain her whole life. As she mothered, she oozed out her hurt. Not willingly I am sure. So having grown up in that kind of home... I did not want hidden pains to ooze out on my kids. Sadly, I know of a few incidents that indeed did happen but I have to give myself the grace to say 'Thank God it was only a few incidents and not their entire childhood."
I had a precious baby girl - we remind her that 'she' gave me my dream come true... she made me a Mommy! During my pregnancy and her first year of life, I began to release 'jobs' I had picked up along the way. I had given myself the assignments of helping those around me, who were hurting, and became their shoulder to lean on. This was over my life - I was the fixer. That line in Vanilla Ice's song "If you have a problem, YO, I'll solve it" was my mantra. If I saw pain or a problem - I found a solution and began to try to 'help' the one who needed me, and often I offered my 'help' to those who did not want it too! God slowly began healing me of my 'Yo, I'll solve it' disease and I began to change. As a result, those who leaned on me were quite startled that I no longer offered or needed to help them. I didn't mean to startle them - I was just being healed of taking responsibility for things that were none of my business. But, I digress.
After my daughter, we had my precious son. When he was born, my daughter was fighting an ear infection. She had gone through 3 different antibiotics and she was as sick on dose 3 as she was on dose 1. Meanwhile, my son was showing signs of colic and I was beyond tired. (We became pregnant with my son when my daughter was only 9 months old. I was exhausted my entire pregnancy.) I was falling apart. I was spent. I had nothing left to give and I felt like I needed help. I told my doctor of my fatigue and he said 'Welcome to Motherhood'. I thought, "What?!?! You are not going to help me?!" I began to pray, again. "God, I need HELP! What is wrong with us!? We cannot endure this?! HELP ME!" I began watching a local program, total fluke - ie. a God appointment, and the name of the show was "Know the Cause". I was intrigued. I began watching it and learned about Probiotics, before they were cool. :) I went to a local organic health store and bought the ones they suggested and the infant kind too. I took the bag of goodies home and began to weep thinking 'I am about to medicate my children with something I saw on TV and I am scared to death!'
It was then that my husband 'happened' to meet a PHD doctor, I think he specialized in nutrition/supplements. He and his expecting wife were picking up a to-go order from the restaurant and my husband 'happened' to chat with them. My husband told him of all my ailments and he began to explain to my husband why I craved certain foods and why I was so tired. He gave us a business card and S came home with my answer to my prayer. We made an appointment, saw him, he diagnosed me with depleted adrenalin. He confirmed my findings on probiotics, gave me the 2 thumbs up I needed, I went home and took the meds he prescribed me and gave my babies the probiotics and within 3 days we were all well. No more fatigue, no more ear infections and no more colic. I was then sold on KNOWING THE CAUSE!
Knowing the cause has been a big phrase for me. "Knowing the cause" - it is music to my ears! KNOWING the cause. Shortly after this, we moved. And if you've been reading my blog, you know that rocked my world. I now believe God gave me the phrase of my life, via our health, so that it was the ground work I could begin to stand on. KNOW the cause. You see, I didn't just change because I became a Mommy - I didn't stop trying to 'fix' the problems I saw..... HE changed me. I could not be a WHOLE Mommy to my kids if I was distracted with all those I took on as projects before. He needed to get to the root of my pain so that I could become whole and be the Mommy I'm called to be and THEN I can be the friend I need to be. A whole me can do much more good than a broken me.
Know the cause - I could not know why x,y or z made me angry if I never look at the root of why those moments trigger me. Why do I crave attention or advise from older women and yet I NEVER get what I need from them? Know the cause - it is because my story involves a Mom who was wounded and wasn't whole. She did the BEST she could do and I was forced to take up where she left off. She needed that from me, she didn't want that but she needed that. So now, I am whole knowing that I am not flawed because I did not know all the things my friends knew. I didn't have an adviser for a Mom. I had a wounded warrior! She did her best, and God knew I could take it. He knew I could be strong enough for her when she didn't have it in her. He knew my strength when I did not see it as strength. He knew!
He knows the cause - He knows how vital it is for us to know the cause! KNOW why we are uber sensitive in certain conversations. KNOW why we feel the need to help everyone, when we do not need to. KNOW why we weep when we see certain things happen, that shouldn't cause us to weep. Our pain matters. We all too often try to silence the fruit of silenced pain - the anger, the insecurities, the hostility, the rage, the fear, and on and on. We see these as all isolated incidents and He sees the why of it all. He longs for us to Know the cause of our bitterness. He longs for us to Know the cause of our fear. He longs for us to Know the cause because until we KNOW the cause.... we only treat the symptoms. Treating the symptom of fear will never cure the cause of fear. The symptom is a distraction that hides the root. The root, or the cause, must be faced fully so that the symptoms can be addressed. Once the root/cause is exposed, the symptoms begin to diminish and slowly go away. There is power in knowing the cause - which is why it matters so much to stop and evaluate what causes our triggers. What causes us to snap at something that is really not that big of a deal - it is a root of pain that when lightly brushed causes us to overreact and leaves us feeling exposed and stupid.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Yearning for God's Way
Sometimes I get a little frustrated about those who went before us. I know they were only human and they did the best they knew to do - realizing this fact alone is what keeps me from truly being upset. As a Christian I have SO many questions about what the Bible really says about Church. For so many years, I swallowed the interpretation of church (hook-line-and sinker) provided by the church. It is only now, when I step away and really look at what/who the church appears to be that I see more of a business than a body.
I often wonder - because I do not know - would Christ being tossing tables in what we call holy ground or would He be pleased? I see tape sales, sermon sales, book sales and huge buildings on one glance; and yet I also see the strength a large church offers us in it's influence - it gives the body a more unified voice and more access to seeing God's goodness displayed in our lives. So, I sit here with no answer. I know times are different but should the church BE a business? I believe God equips us all differently and I believe that He equips His people with a great business mind and to prosper in what they do.... but should the church be a business or not? I have no answer and yet I first see a business, when I look at church.
I see charity from the church, I see outreach, I see love and compassion but I see BUSINESS before I see anything else. I do not have an answer to what the church should look like or if this is right or wrong - it has just bugged me lately as I try to find my way. Shouldn't the gifts (1 Corinthians 12:12-31 and 13:1-13) be dominant and business be the silent extra, not the main agenda.
I'm also annoyed when I go to a church and think 'This feels like a nice place." to only find on the 2nd visit that the brother-in-law is on staff and although he loves God.... he is not gifted as a worship leader but does get the shot once a month because he thinks it is his gift. It is so disappointing to get connected and find all the 'politics' lurking about. Shouldn't the pastor be more in tune with God's voice for the body and God's best than in pleasing his brother-in-law?
If God were truly the head, I know our flawed humanity limits Him from being that fully - even though we desire Him to be that, wouldn't the pastor be so in tune with God that he would have the right people on His team and not the family member? Wouldn't they be able to trust God in leading that leader for worship while they focus on what God would have them share from the pulpit? I know this does NOT speak to all churches but.... I have found myself leaving a service, feeling sick, as I hear the plea from the pulpit for offering. I hear less of the "God has called us to this area and God will stir you how to give" and more of the "If you have faith of a mustard seed, you would give all you have and let us have your money so we can continue to employ our large staff. That would show God your faith." Well, if God calls you - yes... there are faith times to build upon but... doesn't HE provide? Did HE promise a HUGE building or did He promise to provide for the needs of the body?
I've had the privilege of being in several large, thriving churches and in smaller bodies. I have attended churches that are well oiled machines and those that are taking their last bottle of oil and doing great wonders with their little. I do not care if the church is a mega church or a small body - yes... God can and does stir the churches to meet the needs of their congregation. I just wonder what He would want church to look like? Are we doing THAT? I do not know. I am so torn about this - I ache to be at the church He has for my family and then I wonder if we are and because of what I was taught to look for in church... I am rejecting His better. I want His better - not my idea of what church is or should be. He knows best - I'm clueless. I ache to know the answer to this question.
God... What do YOU want the church to look like? Do we match Your plan? What are we missing, if anything? Is the church better at manipulating or are they hearing your voice clearly? Did You want a building, or a pulpit, or did You want the body to be those You have caused us to be in relationship with - because how can we influence those we do not know personally? I do not know the answer to this and I yearn to know where You are... I yearn to be where You want to be. I yearn to worship and seek You as You want us to. Show me YOUR ways!?! Show me YOUR ways! Right now I am confused. I need You to show me the way to go. I love You and want to please You. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
I often wonder - because I do not know - would Christ being tossing tables in what we call holy ground or would He be pleased? I see tape sales, sermon sales, book sales and huge buildings on one glance; and yet I also see the strength a large church offers us in it's influence - it gives the body a more unified voice and more access to seeing God's goodness displayed in our lives. So, I sit here with no answer. I know times are different but should the church BE a business? I believe God equips us all differently and I believe that He equips His people with a great business mind and to prosper in what they do.... but should the church be a business or not? I have no answer and yet I first see a business, when I look at church.
I see charity from the church, I see outreach, I see love and compassion but I see BUSINESS before I see anything else. I do not have an answer to what the church should look like or if this is right or wrong - it has just bugged me lately as I try to find my way. Shouldn't the gifts (1 Corinthians 12:12-31 and 13:1-13) be dominant and business be the silent extra, not the main agenda.
I'm also annoyed when I go to a church and think 'This feels like a nice place." to only find on the 2nd visit that the brother-in-law is on staff and although he loves God.... he is not gifted as a worship leader but does get the shot once a month because he thinks it is his gift. It is so disappointing to get connected and find all the 'politics' lurking about. Shouldn't the pastor be more in tune with God's voice for the body and God's best than in pleasing his brother-in-law?
If God were truly the head, I know our flawed humanity limits Him from being that fully - even though we desire Him to be that, wouldn't the pastor be so in tune with God that he would have the right people on His team and not the family member? Wouldn't they be able to trust God in leading that leader for worship while they focus on what God would have them share from the pulpit? I know this does NOT speak to all churches but.... I have found myself leaving a service, feeling sick, as I hear the plea from the pulpit for offering. I hear less of the "God has called us to this area and God will stir you how to give" and more of the "If you have faith of a mustard seed, you would give all you have and let us have your money so we can continue to employ our large staff. That would show God your faith." Well, if God calls you - yes... there are faith times to build upon but... doesn't HE provide? Did HE promise a HUGE building or did He promise to provide for the needs of the body?
I've had the privilege of being in several large, thriving churches and in smaller bodies. I have attended churches that are well oiled machines and those that are taking their last bottle of oil and doing great wonders with their little. I do not care if the church is a mega church or a small body - yes... God can and does stir the churches to meet the needs of their congregation. I just wonder what He would want church to look like? Are we doing THAT? I do not know. I am so torn about this - I ache to be at the church He has for my family and then I wonder if we are and because of what I was taught to look for in church... I am rejecting His better. I want His better - not my idea of what church is or should be. He knows best - I'm clueless. I ache to know the answer to this question.
God... What do YOU want the church to look like? Do we match Your plan? What are we missing, if anything? Is the church better at manipulating or are they hearing your voice clearly? Did You want a building, or a pulpit, or did You want the body to be those You have caused us to be in relationship with - because how can we influence those we do not know personally? I do not know the answer to this and I yearn to know where You are... I yearn to be where You want to be. I yearn to worship and seek You as You want us to. Show me YOUR ways!?! Show me YOUR ways! Right now I am confused. I need You to show me the way to go. I love You and want to please You. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Power of God's Words
When you consider I've grown up in a 'thou shalt NOT' church, I think I've spent most of my life around those Christians who think of God's word as a tool they can use at their own discretion. As a result, I am less likely to shout you down with quotes from the Bible or with my interpretation of what the verse means. It is far more likely that I will share with you what great things God has done for me. I will likely share my before and after story and share the life lesson(s) I gleaned from that journey. I have learned the power of God's Words are more in His prompting what I say and less about how many Bible verses I can quote in a moments time.
I am all for sharing God's Word. I will quote scripture when I feel the nudge to do so. Never say never, because there are occasional miracles when I can recall a specific scripture God showed me as I learned a specific lesson. But, I am far more likely to find myself encouraging someone who has already made a decision to accept Christ than someone who is undecided or saying no. I realize my literalist mentality may not bode well for me trying to 'win' anyone over (but I am growing in this area - learning to remain open to His will and His way!) . I am black and white and see very few shades of gray. But I have learned that I am not judge so.... I keep my 'thoughts' to myself as I ask God 'What do YOU say about that? I don't know if I'm being fair here or not, so what do YOU say or what do YOU see here that I am missing?" He often gives me the glimpse of truth on the matter at hand by pointing me to an area in my life where I can see that matter more clearly. I often needed the lesson learned anyway, so..... I continue to learn.
There are those in my life who do share God's Word with all they come in contact with. I do think that is a gift too - and the ones in my life who tend to truly minister in that way are not sharing God's Word in a demeaning way, but in an uplifting way. I respect them so much more than those who seek to preach AT others. I believe that there are those who are skilled in God's word, and that gift is vital! I am not naive enough to think the way God stirs me is the only way He flows. I'm just finding freedom in the simple fact that I do not have to be anyone other than who He's called, and equipped me to be.
I do believe most have good intentions, when sharing God's word. But my journey has left me embarrassed by the 'compassionate' Christians out there at times. Some are skilled swordsmen and others are trying to share the truth and yet for some reason their sword use feels more like tossing daggers. I find myself in more of the 'duck and cover' mode when I'm around them, and not because their 'word' is ringing true but... because it seems to be a little more of their opinion than a direct quote. I feel worn out and confused by their banter.
Those who share God's word with a sincere AND humble heart - they are the true swordsmen. All the rest are either just clumsily finding their way in understanding the word or think they have it together and want to squash those who do not measure up to their own self-made standard! (And there are a select few who use God's word to justify their own goofs - they use His word to try and shut you up from stating the obvious - their mouth isn't lining up with the fruit in their life. But I digress.....) :)
Bottom line is - when someone is ministering... truly ministering - God can use any and all means to speak through them. It CAN be by you sharing the scriptures in the Bible and it CAN be by you sharing what Great and Mighty things God has done in your life. There are countless other methods God uses to minister too! The fact is, if He is the Author of the conversation - His method will perform, even if you are clueless that you've made an impact at all. There will always be Power when you say the Words HE prompts you to say. The key to it all is whether God inspires the moment for someone or if the person 'sharing' decided that so and so needs a good talking to! There is no need for a cookie-cutter method or a script. He knows the heart of the individual He is trying to stir and thus He knows the exact recipe to bring healing to their lives. When we get out of His way and let Him direct our steps, the possibilities are endless! God's ways are always higher and better and He is so amazing to keep our walk with Him exciting! He mixes up how He flows so that you do not become stagnant and bored with Him. He is the Great Romancer after all - He knows how to speak to our hearts, beautifully, every time! HIS WORDS NEVER FAIL!
I am all for sharing God's Word. I will quote scripture when I feel the nudge to do so. Never say never, because there are occasional miracles when I can recall a specific scripture God showed me as I learned a specific lesson. But, I am far more likely to find myself encouraging someone who has already made a decision to accept Christ than someone who is undecided or saying no. I realize my literalist mentality may not bode well for me trying to 'win' anyone over (but I am growing in this area - learning to remain open to His will and His way!) . I am black and white and see very few shades of gray. But I have learned that I am not judge so.... I keep my 'thoughts' to myself as I ask God 'What do YOU say about that? I don't know if I'm being fair here or not, so what do YOU say or what do YOU see here that I am missing?" He often gives me the glimpse of truth on the matter at hand by pointing me to an area in my life where I can see that matter more clearly. I often needed the lesson learned anyway, so..... I continue to learn.
There are those in my life who do share God's Word with all they come in contact with. I do think that is a gift too - and the ones in my life who tend to truly minister in that way are not sharing God's Word in a demeaning way, but in an uplifting way. I respect them so much more than those who seek to preach AT others. I believe that there are those who are skilled in God's word, and that gift is vital! I am not naive enough to think the way God stirs me is the only way He flows. I'm just finding freedom in the simple fact that I do not have to be anyone other than who He's called, and equipped me to be.
I do believe most have good intentions, when sharing God's word. But my journey has left me embarrassed by the 'compassionate' Christians out there at times. Some are skilled swordsmen and others are trying to share the truth and yet for some reason their sword use feels more like tossing daggers. I find myself in more of the 'duck and cover' mode when I'm around them, and not because their 'word' is ringing true but... because it seems to be a little more of their opinion than a direct quote. I feel worn out and confused by their banter.
Those who share God's word with a sincere AND humble heart - they are the true swordsmen. All the rest are either just clumsily finding their way in understanding the word or think they have it together and want to squash those who do not measure up to their own self-made standard! (And there are a select few who use God's word to justify their own goofs - they use His word to try and shut you up from stating the obvious - their mouth isn't lining up with the fruit in their life. But I digress.....) :)
Bottom line is - when someone is ministering... truly ministering - God can use any and all means to speak through them. It CAN be by you sharing the scriptures in the Bible and it CAN be by you sharing what Great and Mighty things God has done in your life. There are countless other methods God uses to minister too! The fact is, if He is the Author of the conversation - His method will perform, even if you are clueless that you've made an impact at all. There will always be Power when you say the Words HE prompts you to say. The key to it all is whether God inspires the moment for someone or if the person 'sharing' decided that so and so needs a good talking to! There is no need for a cookie-cutter method or a script. He knows the heart of the individual He is trying to stir and thus He knows the exact recipe to bring healing to their lives. When we get out of His way and let Him direct our steps, the possibilities are endless! God's ways are always higher and better and He is so amazing to keep our walk with Him exciting! He mixes up how He flows so that you do not become stagnant and bored with Him. He is the Great Romancer after all - He knows how to speak to our hearts, beautifully, every time! HIS WORDS NEVER FAIL!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Hello, my name is Jesus!
As I've grown up, I've heard this story repeated to me numerous times. When I was a little girl, my Dad was still in college. It happened that the college he attended was a Bible College and my Uncle attended there as well. On occasions, I would be with my Uncle and he would take me on campus with him. There were many times he took me with him to the cafeteria. He would put me on the cafeteria table and his friends would ask me my name. He taught me to answer, "My name is Jesus.", as I walked upon the tables. It has been told to me numerous times and has always been a source of laughter. Oh, and I have another Uncle who taught me to say "Sister Holmes, stupid dog." and she was our Pastor's wife. But that is another story entirely. :)
Back to the "My name is Jesus." story.... We are a home school family and my daughter is now in 2nd grade while my son is in Kindergarten. As I teach my son, I am reviewing all the lessons I covered with my daughter. The first two lessons of K-5 cover the letter S and M, with reference to the Sun and the Moon. The lesson encourages them to remember "Jesus is the light of the world." when they think of the Sun and "I am the light of the world." when they think of the Moon. Just like the moon reflects the Sun, we reflect Christ.
When I first covered these lessons with my daughter, we just learned the lessons and moved on. As I recently covered these lessons again with my son, I was reminded of the silly story about me. Then I thought about how there is that commercial that shows pictures of many people saying "I am Tiger Woods", or whatever that reference was - everyone used the same name. They used the same product so... they were like the referenced star.
As a Christian, how often can we truly say to another "I am Jesus". That thought hit me like a ton of bricks. We should be able to say that. We should be able to be that. No, no one is like Him. But shouldn't we be enough like Him that someone is left with that thought? Not for our glory and not for our ego, but for the simple fact that they felt they were with Christ by spending time with us? Shouldn't they leave us feeling drawn towards Christ or challenged by the truth of God's Word? Shouldn't we, like the moon, reflect him.
One thing that I notice when I 'see' Jesus in the life of someone is they are NOT usually preaching AT me. They are very often just being themselves and the light of God's goodness shines from them. They do not have to TELL me how to live my life better - I am drawn to be better by having been with them. They do not make me feel like slime, they make me feel like I am cherished and loved. When you look at Jesus - that is what He did.
He did not go forth saying "thou shalt not". He just was. He was harsh on the church but He was compassionate and truth to the lost. He did not rage at those who did not believe. He spoke or lived truth and left the choice of accepting or rejecting Him with the individual. He was not isolated from those who did not know Him, He was light wherever He went and those who wanted to see truth did. He often stayed clear of the religious because THEY were narrow minded and full of rules. He left those He met with an internal question that they HAD to have answered. He left them wanting more. He wasn't looking for a fan club - He wanted to impact lives. He took every opportunity to be about His Fathers' business wherever He went.
I am learning, which has been a HUGE relief to me, that all I must be is myself. He has equipped me fully to do the work HE called me to do. If I am to impact the life of another, I do not have to have a specific Bible verse memorized and ready for the next time we are together. I do not have to have a 'word' ready when I walk in the door. All I have to do is to be sensitive to His Spirit and if I feel the urge to share some random story... then it just may be His tool for someone I'm talking to. I cannot count the number of times I've shared a 'random' thought or story with someone and later found out that in that moment someone found God in a new way. When someone tells me 'remember when you told me such and such' I often nod as I think 'What in the world? Did I say that?'.
At first I would be SO bothered that I could not remember what they were talking about, but now I've come to terms with the fact that I was the vessel He chose to flow through in that moment. I do not have to remember. The 'word' did it's work in their life and the fact that my mind cannot recall that moment or conversation is a gift. What if I did remember - hello prideful ego! :) I am so glad He chooses to speak through me when I least expect it and with words that seem so ordinary that I could not possibly take credit for them. That's what He wants. He wants to nudge our conversations here and there and be glorified NOT because we are constantly quoting 'thus sayeth the Lord' left and right, but because we said what He wanted us to say! That's it! His job is to stir the Spirit, our job is to be a river of living water He can flow through. I am tempted to say "I am Jesus" and yet when I simply think those words, I wonder if that is wrong. I do want to be able to say that... I just don't find the nerve to do so!
Back to the "My name is Jesus." story.... We are a home school family and my daughter is now in 2nd grade while my son is in Kindergarten. As I teach my son, I am reviewing all the lessons I covered with my daughter. The first two lessons of K-5 cover the letter S and M, with reference to the Sun and the Moon. The lesson encourages them to remember "Jesus is the light of the world." when they think of the Sun and "I am the light of the world." when they think of the Moon. Just like the moon reflects the Sun, we reflect Christ.
When I first covered these lessons with my daughter, we just learned the lessons and moved on. As I recently covered these lessons again with my son, I was reminded of the silly story about me. Then I thought about how there is that commercial that shows pictures of many people saying "I am Tiger Woods", or whatever that reference was - everyone used the same name. They used the same product so... they were like the referenced star.
As a Christian, how often can we truly say to another "I am Jesus". That thought hit me like a ton of bricks. We should be able to say that. We should be able to be that. No, no one is like Him. But shouldn't we be enough like Him that someone is left with that thought? Not for our glory and not for our ego, but for the simple fact that they felt they were with Christ by spending time with us? Shouldn't they leave us feeling drawn towards Christ or challenged by the truth of God's Word? Shouldn't we, like the moon, reflect him.
One thing that I notice when I 'see' Jesus in the life of someone is they are NOT usually preaching AT me. They are very often just being themselves and the light of God's goodness shines from them. They do not have to TELL me how to live my life better - I am drawn to be better by having been with them. They do not make me feel like slime, they make me feel like I am cherished and loved. When you look at Jesus - that is what He did.
He did not go forth saying "thou shalt not". He just was. He was harsh on the church but He was compassionate and truth to the lost. He did not rage at those who did not believe. He spoke or lived truth and left the choice of accepting or rejecting Him with the individual. He was not isolated from those who did not know Him, He was light wherever He went and those who wanted to see truth did. He often stayed clear of the religious because THEY were narrow minded and full of rules. He left those He met with an internal question that they HAD to have answered. He left them wanting more. He wasn't looking for a fan club - He wanted to impact lives. He took every opportunity to be about His Fathers' business wherever He went.
I am learning, which has been a HUGE relief to me, that all I must be is myself. He has equipped me fully to do the work HE called me to do. If I am to impact the life of another, I do not have to have a specific Bible verse memorized and ready for the next time we are together. I do not have to have a 'word' ready when I walk in the door. All I have to do is to be sensitive to His Spirit and if I feel the urge to share some random story... then it just may be His tool for someone I'm talking to. I cannot count the number of times I've shared a 'random' thought or story with someone and later found out that in that moment someone found God in a new way. When someone tells me 'remember when you told me such and such' I often nod as I think 'What in the world? Did I say that?'.
At first I would be SO bothered that I could not remember what they were talking about, but now I've come to terms with the fact that I was the vessel He chose to flow through in that moment. I do not have to remember. The 'word' did it's work in their life and the fact that my mind cannot recall that moment or conversation is a gift. What if I did remember - hello prideful ego! :) I am so glad He chooses to speak through me when I least expect it and with words that seem so ordinary that I could not possibly take credit for them. That's what He wants. He wants to nudge our conversations here and there and be glorified NOT because we are constantly quoting 'thus sayeth the Lord' left and right, but because we said what He wanted us to say! That's it! His job is to stir the Spirit, our job is to be a river of living water He can flow through. I am tempted to say "I am Jesus" and yet when I simply think those words, I wonder if that is wrong. I do want to be able to say that... I just don't find the nerve to do so!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
The 'Who' of Me
It may be helpful to share the 'who' of me. I have come from a 'thou shalt NOT' church world. I was practically born in church. I cut my teeth on the back of church pews, or so I'm told. I grew up in the same religion all of my life. I grew up wondering "Am I saved still?" after having the simplest question rise up in my heart about God. I grew up being taught more about the book of Revelation, and Christ's return, than the LIFE of Christ. I grew up thinking "I'll never" to many things because if I ever dared to do/think such things.... I would die and go to hell. Fear was my foundation of my faith. Fear of hell was more real to me than the love of God.
As a result of such a narrow view of God, I was heading straight for a path to rebel. Many in the 'churched' world would say I 'backslid'. I may be wrong on this, but I have not felt the least conflicted on my view that I did not backslide (which means turn away from God). I went on the most sincere search for who God was... really and I ended that journey with knowing a real, true and LOVING God! Wow! Who knew God was LOVE! Yes, this journey was in my college years.
Now I had something real of my own to begin living out. I was now drinking from the fountain of Life and it was good! Every Sunday or Wednesday or special event at church was where you would find me, not because my parents made me - but because I wanted to be there. I was brimming with Life. I was raised in a church family and being at church and doing everything that was asked of you was the mark of a 'good' Christian. So yes, I was doing what I wanted - and I hold no regrets to that part of my journey but I now look back and see the shackles I put on myself then too.
During this time of brimming Life, I met my husband and we were married. We then felt a draw to attend a different church and I had major anxiety. I had never attended a church outside of my religion, other than a brief visit here or there, my whole life. What would my grandparents and uncles and parents think of this choice? Would I be turning my back on my 'roots'? And so we held our breath and we leaped into this new church.
This church was so different. Instead of leaving church feeling like I could never live a life worthy of Christ's sacrifice on the cross; I left church feeling thankful for His love. His unfailing, unwavering love for me! I consider this church to be my 'college' training regarding God. This was the MOST fun time I ever had at church - I felt so alive and full of God's love. I felt like a giant!
Then, without the least warning, Hurricane Katrina came and SHOOK my world. No, I had no house damage from the storm but the storm blew into my world and I feel blew us right out of town. It seemed as fast as Katrina came and went was the way we left our home. We just had the strongest urge I've ever known to GO. Go where? We had no clue but we knew it was time for us to go and the time was now.
So we went, we had 2 precious kiddo's at this point. They were 2 years old and an 8 month old. We went without a firm job, we went without a home, we just went! Oddly enough my parents 'happened' to move, 4 months before us, to the very area we felt drawn to years ago. We stayed with them for a short time while we settled in and found work and a home. While on our journey we landed in a healthy and thriving church. One that was MUCH like the one that we had just left. We clumsily found our way there and met some wonderful friends. And then without any understanding whatsoever this church began to feel so wrong for us.
What?! Same message, same worship, same life-giving heart... so why we no likey?! I cannot explain the shame I felt because we didn't feel this church was our home. I felt it may offend our friends to think we didn't like the church anymore or that something was wrong with us. I felt major stress and so alone. Sure, I had felt alone since we moved but... now I felt like an island. Meanwhile, my parents moved away. We began church hunting and we attended a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Presbyterian church and... it was refreshing. Seeing all of the different ways people approach worship was beautiful! And yet, I longed for a church home.
We took a short break and began gathering with another family for a few months time and then abruptly that ended. Then we finally found our church home again. It was the most refreshing few months and right before we were to move once more. We have been in our new home now, which is far, far, far away from familiar faces, for almost 3 months now. We are enjoying the joys of parenting a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 4 month old. Once again, the church 'building' is as far away as it has ever been. And yet God is more a part of my day than He ever was. So isn't THAT church? Church is not a building - it is a relationship with THE ONE Who made heaven and earth. That is more important than a building!
So here I sit - a totally different person than I was 5 years ago. I am more in love with God today than I ever have been. He is more real to me today than in my best church attendance days. He is a question away from me. He is a breath away. He is ever near. He is my all in all! He is my EVERYTHING! I am so thankful for each dreary step that brought me to where I now stand and yet I am FILLED with questions now. But instead of being afraid of my questions, I am reminded that He asks us to SEEK Him and we WILL find Him. If I do not bother to ask a question - even if I am WAY off... how would I know His heart? The more I ask, the more I know. The more I know, the more I love! The more I love, the better life is. Who could be scared of that!?
As a result of such a narrow view of God, I was heading straight for a path to rebel. Many in the 'churched' world would say I 'backslid'. I may be wrong on this, but I have not felt the least conflicted on my view that I did not backslide (which means turn away from God). I went on the most sincere search for who God was... really and I ended that journey with knowing a real, true and LOVING God! Wow! Who knew God was LOVE! Yes, this journey was in my college years.
Now I had something real of my own to begin living out. I was now drinking from the fountain of Life and it was good! Every Sunday or Wednesday or special event at church was where you would find me, not because my parents made me - but because I wanted to be there. I was brimming with Life. I was raised in a church family and being at church and doing everything that was asked of you was the mark of a 'good' Christian. So yes, I was doing what I wanted - and I hold no regrets to that part of my journey but I now look back and see the shackles I put on myself then too.
During this time of brimming Life, I met my husband and we were married. We then felt a draw to attend a different church and I had major anxiety. I had never attended a church outside of my religion, other than a brief visit here or there, my whole life. What would my grandparents and uncles and parents think of this choice? Would I be turning my back on my 'roots'? And so we held our breath and we leaped into this new church.
This church was so different. Instead of leaving church feeling like I could never live a life worthy of Christ's sacrifice on the cross; I left church feeling thankful for His love. His unfailing, unwavering love for me! I consider this church to be my 'college' training regarding God. This was the MOST fun time I ever had at church - I felt so alive and full of God's love. I felt like a giant!
Then, without the least warning, Hurricane Katrina came and SHOOK my world. No, I had no house damage from the storm but the storm blew into my world and I feel blew us right out of town. It seemed as fast as Katrina came and went was the way we left our home. We just had the strongest urge I've ever known to GO. Go where? We had no clue but we knew it was time for us to go and the time was now.
So we went, we had 2 precious kiddo's at this point. They were 2 years old and an 8 month old. We went without a firm job, we went without a home, we just went! Oddly enough my parents 'happened' to move, 4 months before us, to the very area we felt drawn to years ago. We stayed with them for a short time while we settled in and found work and a home. While on our journey we landed in a healthy and thriving church. One that was MUCH like the one that we had just left. We clumsily found our way there and met some wonderful friends. And then without any understanding whatsoever this church began to feel so wrong for us.
What?! Same message, same worship, same life-giving heart... so why we no likey?! I cannot explain the shame I felt because we didn't feel this church was our home. I felt it may offend our friends to think we didn't like the church anymore or that something was wrong with us. I felt major stress and so alone. Sure, I had felt alone since we moved but... now I felt like an island. Meanwhile, my parents moved away. We began church hunting and we attended a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Presbyterian church and... it was refreshing. Seeing all of the different ways people approach worship was beautiful! And yet, I longed for a church home.
We took a short break and began gathering with another family for a few months time and then abruptly that ended. Then we finally found our church home again. It was the most refreshing few months and right before we were to move once more. We have been in our new home now, which is far, far, far away from familiar faces, for almost 3 months now. We are enjoying the joys of parenting a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 4 month old. Once again, the church 'building' is as far away as it has ever been. And yet God is more a part of my day than He ever was. So isn't THAT church? Church is not a building - it is a relationship with THE ONE Who made heaven and earth. That is more important than a building!
So here I sit - a totally different person than I was 5 years ago. I am more in love with God today than I ever have been. He is more real to me today than in my best church attendance days. He is a question away from me. He is a breath away. He is ever near. He is my all in all! He is my EVERYTHING! I am so thankful for each dreary step that brought me to where I now stand and yet I am FILLED with questions now. But instead of being afraid of my questions, I am reminded that He asks us to SEEK Him and we WILL find Him. If I do not bother to ask a question - even if I am WAY off... how would I know His heart? The more I ask, the more I know. The more I know, the more I love! The more I love, the better life is. Who could be scared of that!?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A Glimpse into My Ponderings
I would have to say I am very literal. I like people to be who they 'say' they are and I expect them to do what they 'say' they will do. I do not know what came first - my literal view or learning the scripture in Revelation 3:16 that says "because you are lukewarm -neither hot or cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth." Whatever the case I've always been the all in or not at all person I am today. Although, I am growing in that area. :)
When it comes to most anything in my life - I am this way and sadly I expect others to be this way too. I've come to the harsh realization that others do not share my passion. :) I guess if I would have to guess at where this blog will take me - I would have to warn my readers from my "Song of the Morning" days that it will not be quite the same. I have gone through much change since my last few posts and my 'voice' began a change there. I went from being this Mommy blog, about my kids and parenting, to sharing more of my heart. I think you will see less pictures and updates on my children here and more of my ponderings.
My ponderings are not quite "church people" approved at times. I have begun to question what the Bible says on many beliefs I've held dear. I am beginning to see that the church has often taken liberties to 'perceive' what God means by those words for me and when I sincerely ponder those words on my own... I do not always come to the same assumption that I've based my Christian faith on. I am not anti-church but I am more pro-God and seeking Him in where the church fits in all of this.
I believe the church is vital but I'm not convinced it is vital in it's current condition. I am more of a 'let Him guide me, personally, in the daily moments of my life' rather than asking the church 'what does God say on this or that?'. I seek His still small voice and I expect Him to give me an answer to my internal question. Guess what? He actually answers me!! I remain connected to the 'body', just not the way I once did. It is more hearing His voice (which I can explain further as we go) and less asking the 'thems' what they think. I'm still working this all out but that is an example of what you will likely see here.
My ponderings. For example, recently I've pondered the scripture "Love your enemies." and "Love your neighbor as you love yourself.". I've been taught that these scriptures put you, the Christian, in a position that is complicated. I'm wondering if that is the case. Should I expose myself, and my family, to those who are my enemies so I can be a 'good' Christian? I'm wondering if "loving others, including my enemies, as myself" looks more like this... "I accept you, just as you are, and that is in conflict with me. I, one who loves God and others, want to do us both a favor and love you. I can love you best by allowing you to be you and me to be me - but not saturating myself in your world and vice versa."
Isn't it love to not condemn or damn one another for the fact that we will not get along with everyone? Isn't it love to give them space to be them, while remaining kind, and you be you? Nod and wave and go about your business. Less preaching at them for not being like x,y and z and more accepting their choice to be them - mess and all. Not trying to 'save' the world but just BEING light and letting that be enough. God is the One Who brings salvation - all I can do is be light. Otherwise, I may think my works are the reason for the change in another person's life.
Anyway, these are a few quick glimpses into the ponderings of my heart. Yes, salvation matters and God loves the lost. I hate for anyone to die and not know the Lord but I am called to be salt and light, not judge and jury. Still pondering....... I do not claim to have found answers to my ponderings and I am not interested in fighting about anything, but do feel free to share what you think. You just may be the Rhema Word I needed to clarify my pondering.
When it comes to most anything in my life - I am this way and sadly I expect others to be this way too. I've come to the harsh realization that others do not share my passion. :) I guess if I would have to guess at where this blog will take me - I would have to warn my readers from my "Song of the Morning" days that it will not be quite the same. I have gone through much change since my last few posts and my 'voice' began a change there. I went from being this Mommy blog, about my kids and parenting, to sharing more of my heart. I think you will see less pictures and updates on my children here and more of my ponderings.
My ponderings are not quite "church people" approved at times. I have begun to question what the Bible says on many beliefs I've held dear. I am beginning to see that the church has often taken liberties to 'perceive' what God means by those words for me and when I sincerely ponder those words on my own... I do not always come to the same assumption that I've based my Christian faith on. I am not anti-church but I am more pro-God and seeking Him in where the church fits in all of this.
I believe the church is vital but I'm not convinced it is vital in it's current condition. I am more of a 'let Him guide me, personally, in the daily moments of my life' rather than asking the church 'what does God say on this or that?'. I seek His still small voice and I expect Him to give me an answer to my internal question. Guess what? He actually answers me!! I remain connected to the 'body', just not the way I once did. It is more hearing His voice (which I can explain further as we go) and less asking the 'thems' what they think. I'm still working this all out but that is an example of what you will likely see here.
My ponderings. For example, recently I've pondered the scripture "Love your enemies." and "Love your neighbor as you love yourself.". I've been taught that these scriptures put you, the Christian, in a position that is complicated. I'm wondering if that is the case. Should I expose myself, and my family, to those who are my enemies so I can be a 'good' Christian? I'm wondering if "loving others, including my enemies, as myself" looks more like this... "I accept you, just as you are, and that is in conflict with me. I, one who loves God and others, want to do us both a favor and love you. I can love you best by allowing you to be you and me to be me - but not saturating myself in your world and vice versa."
Isn't it love to not condemn or damn one another for the fact that we will not get along with everyone? Isn't it love to give them space to be them, while remaining kind, and you be you? Nod and wave and go about your business. Less preaching at them for not being like x,y and z and more accepting their choice to be them - mess and all. Not trying to 'save' the world but just BEING light and letting that be enough. God is the One Who brings salvation - all I can do is be light. Otherwise, I may think my works are the reason for the change in another person's life.
Anyway, these are a few quick glimpses into the ponderings of my heart. Yes, salvation matters and God loves the lost. I hate for anyone to die and not know the Lord but I am called to be salt and light, not judge and jury. Still pondering....... I do not claim to have found answers to my ponderings and I am not interested in fighting about anything, but do feel free to share what you think. You just may be the Rhema Word I needed to clarify my pondering.
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